people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
