Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
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When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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