Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
