Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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