Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I checked into jail on foursquare
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
