It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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