Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
