The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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