I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
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