I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
