if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
