you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
