And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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