I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize