Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize