Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i think i just lost a toe
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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