Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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