Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
