btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
