see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize