he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
