just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
