I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she peed on how many people?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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