The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
