I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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