When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
