we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
