my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
they need to just BURY HIM!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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