I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Randomize