yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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