Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
