john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize