his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
