Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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