Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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