I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
