His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
