My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
