I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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