I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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