we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
