At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
