Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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