No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
