So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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