I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
