redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
