Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
