I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
