The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize