So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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