Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I want to fling myself into the sun
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
