Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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